Gots me some towels… duh duddu dudum
But ain’t got no dryer… duh duddu dudum
Gots me some good good towels…
But I ain’t got no dryer… duh duddu dudum
All I gots these damn crunchy towels
Burnin’ my skin like a fire
I’ve been singin’ these blues for a while now, folks. If I could go back in time and visit myself 5 and half years ago, I would sit myself down and ask the following:
“Is your love for this Italian man greater than your love for fluffy towels?”
I like to think that it would give me a moment’s pause. But who am I kidding? You ain’t got the blues ’til you lose what you got. I may have met the love of my life, but at what cost? Fluffy towels, baby, fluffy towels.
So let’s try to break this down. First of all, what IS the reason that drying machines are no where to be found here in rural Emilia? Here are a few of the possible reasons I could come up with… anyone have any to add? Do any of my millions of Italian readers have any insights to share?
In a recent Facebook Group discussion with some fellow English speaking expats in Italy, we attempted to get to the root of the crunchy towel problem by entertaining possible substitute methods for softening laundry.
Based on some suggestions from the group, I have been through several combinations and permutations of these six products (white vinegar not shown).
Here’s what I have learned:
1. Calgon is a joke. The ridiculously high levels of calcium in the water here in Emilia are insane. The calcium molecules literally look at Clagon and laugh in it’s little blue face.
2. Napisan does make whites a very tiny little bit whiter. And it may or may be helping with some smell issues, I can’t be sure. But the quantity you have to put in makes it not very cost effective.
3. Dixan does very little to specifically impress me as a base detergent, but also very little to deter me from using it again. I have no further thoughts on it, really.
4. Coccolino doesn’t actually wash off… Everything kind of has this film on it. And it gives those of us with sensitive skin a lovely rash.
5. White vinegar (not pictured) helps with smells and calcium a bit, but I like it better to clean out the washing machine in between uses.
6. Tea tree oil rocks. I have yet to find an application for tea tree oil that does not kick ass. I won’t go so far as to say it eliminated the crunchiness factor. But the immensely therapeutic smell of my laundry with the faint tea tree oil smell is absolutely fantastic.
In conclusion, however, I still have crunchy towels. The only two solutions I see are (a) ironing… ha! NOT gonna happen, or (b) purchasing a dryer.
The problem is that the rest of the tracks on my blues album are:
- “You Can’t Lose Air Conditioning you Ain’t Had”
- “Stormy September; Gotta Stufa On My Mind”
- “Baby Broke My Dishwasher”
- “Ain’t Gotta Worry ‘Bout That Noise My Fridge Is Makin'”
So, really, it’s all about priorities. Which appliance do you miss the most?