Our fearless group of expat bloggers returns to you this week with a doozy. We’ve asked our Italian (and one French) partners to talk about what it’s like being with us crazy expats.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

The look on my marito’s face when I offered him this opportunity concerned me greatly, I must say. I could see the gears start turning. To get him started, I’ve provided him with a simple intro phrase, “being Married to Texas means…”. The rest is all him. Be sure to check out my fellow bloggers’ responses on their own sites too – I’ll post the links after my marito’s list of revenge:

Being Married to Texas means…

1 … having to threaten divorce when she gets one of those blue boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese in her hands.

2 … having to pin her to the ground and force-wrap a scarf around her neck when it’s breezy outside.

3 … having Blue Bonnets, coriander, dill and failed avocado stumps take over your balcony vases.

4 … having a migratory spouse who needs to fly West once a year to the place where everything is bigger, where avocados are readily available, and where donuts are “done right”.

5 … having to give a history lesson every time we visit something more than 50 years old.

6 … that the question “where are you from?” can apparently include your family’s ancestral origin.

7 … trying to understand her family jungle (you can’t call it a tree) where everyone has been divorced multiple times and “relatives” don’t seem to be blood related.

8 … having to explain a system of measurement that does not involve hooves, feet, noses, cups, arrows, and other random 17th century items.

9 … getting asked 3 times a day, “Can we pleeeeease get an Ape Car, paint flames on the sides, and put longhorns on the front bumper?!”

10 … acquiring family from all over the world… even Sicily.

11 … having to explain the tree-flower-bee-fruit-seed-tree cycle to your city-girl wife at least once a year because she’s probably never seen things like a chestnut “in the wild”. 

12 … that your dog will understand more english than your Italian neighbours.

13 … having to listen to her complain that the winter is too cold.

14 … having to listen to her complain that there’s no AC in the summer.

15 … having your speedo swimsuits photographed and uploaded to Twitter, Facebook Instagram, and a blog.

16 … pancakes. Lots and lots of blessed pancakes.

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For more on what it’s like to marry a foreigner…

my partners in Blog Debauchery have had their partners tackle the same subject with much hilarity. Check out their links for a good laugh:

“What is it Like to be Married to an American?”

 

by M. Elizabeth Evans of “Surviving Italy” is an American expat trapped between two worlds with her badass husband, his chest hair, and their poodle. She is a writer and partner of House Of Ossimori. Her award-winning blog Surviving In Italy, aims to honestly portray her life in Italy, the sober times, the drunken times, the yelling, food, family, and on occasion her obsession with the majestic Capybara. She’s also terrible at writing Bios. Someone do it for her next time, okay?

“Italian Girls Dating American Men”

by Rick Zullo of ‘Rick’s Rome‘ – an American expat living in Rome. Born in Chicago and raised in Florida, he came to the Caput Mundi in 2010 and forgot to go back. When he’s not exploring his adoptive hometown or writing for his blog, he spends his time teaching the world English, one Roman at a time. Rick is also the author of the silly little eBook, “Live Like an Italian,” available on Amazon.

“What’s it like being with an American?”

by Georgette of ‘Girl in Florence‘ – an American social media strategist, copywriter, blogger and a certifiable ‘Tuscan Texan’ living and breathing all things Florence. Social inside and out, she lives in the moment and eats way too much pasta. She blogs about life in Italy, travel around Europe {and the world}.

“Dating an American Girl Means Always Talking About Her Vagina”

by Gina of ‘The Florence Diaries‘ is a 26 year old California native whose unhealthy love of cheese, wine and gossip has made her a perfect transplant to Italy.  She blogs about life in Florence, tour guiding for college students abroad, traveling and her dog Gorgonzola.  When she’s not busy writing down all the crazy stuff that happens to her, she’s listening to Snoop Dog and trying to figure out how to open an In-N-Out Burger in Italy.

“So You’re Married to a Foreigner… an Italian Perspective”

by Rochelle Del Borrello of ‘The Unwilling Expat‘ is an Australian journalist by trade, something she has thankfully left behind to write, photograph and taste life in Sicily, an experience she shares on her blog Unwilling Expat. Rochelle is currently hating people’s obsession with the Selfie, Geordie Shore and the confusing world of Italian politics and liking Stromae, The Voice Italy, Springtime in Sicily and collaborating with other certifiable Expats in Italy.